So far this blog has been mostly composed of Facebook observations. Although this is not how I expected my blog to go, it has formed itself and who am I to perform a blog abortion and end the life that Bowties&Booze has created? Most of my everyday observations happen on my favorite social networking site which I check religiously. One of my recent obsessions is with people who find it necessary to do “self photo shoots.” This both annoys and confuses me at the same time. So through little research and blunt sarcasm, here is what I have noticed and what I find is WRONG with this habit:
1. “The peace sign and corner of the eye smile”
I don’t know who started this “pose”, but I have never seen it on America’s Next Top Model and if Tyra doesn’t do it, neither should you. First I will address the peace sign part of the photograph or as I will call it, “The V Sign.” I understand that you want to wish me peace or look like John Lennon or whatever. But in actuality, that V sign is dangerous. If you moved it a little closer to your face, suddenly that V sign takes on a completely different meaning. Suddenly instead of peace you are wishing for sexual advances. It transforms from an innocent two fingers meaning unity and love to a vagina that is dangerously close to your face. Usually in these pictures the girl is looking out of the corners of her eyes into the distance. This is what REALLY confuses the shiz out of me. Where the hell are you looking girl?! Or a better question may be WHO are you looking at?! Because it sure in hell isn’t me, who is currently looking at your picture. Do you not have the decency to look me in the eyes through my computer screen? My grandma always told me that if you make stupid faces that one day it will stick. So good luck getting a job with a sign language vagina next to your face and no eye contact.
2. “The nudist”
When looking through Facebook, I will sometimes find profile pictures that are of girls in what look like NOTHING or in skimpy swimsuits. I don’t have much to say about this topic other than that I don’t want to see your ovaries. So cover up!
3. “The narcissist”
My last observation about people on Facebook is the people who take 7,000 pictures of themselves and post them ALL over my newsfeed. I have seen cases so bad that their albums don’t have names, they are simply dates and are filled with pictures of them doing different facial expressions or in different locations. There are never OTHER people in these photos! They are only the person and they are ALWAYS the one taking the picture. My guess is because what friend wants to take pictures of their other friend laying against a tree or staring at themselves in the mirror. I don’t care if you can look sad, then happy, then surprised. I don’t care if you can make your face look like a four-leaf clover! Please don’t blow up my newsfeed with 373 pictures of yourself standing in your bathroom with your cell phone’s flash on. Just take pictures of yourself and then delete them after you look at them and think “Damn, I look good!” like the rest of the world!