Posted on

Britney Spears: Role Model of the Summer.

Ever since the day that I was born in that beautiful wooden manger, or however it happened, I have been infatuated with clothing and the way that people dress themselves. Often times this gets me in trouble. When I see someone looking like a mess from hell, I find it incredibly hard to contain myself. I want to jump out my Subway booth and help the woman donning a distressed leather jacket, pajama jeans, and purple cowboy boots, while she chooses what bread to eat. I want to shake her and ask why she spends more time deciding what to put on her meatball marinara sub than what to put on her body. It is very difficult for me to sit back and watch this woman choose her chips and walk out the door. As the tiny bell that is tied around the door handle sounds, I sulk and wonder why I can’t help people all around the world release their inner fashionistas. Thus, my career choice. After graduating next year, I will attend the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising and study fashion design. One day I will be able to help that pajama jean lady. But until then, I can only hope that she finds my blog and reads my top 3 summer fashion misconceptions.

1. Uggs.

Let me remind everyone that it is summer. It gets hot in the summer. Why would anyone want to wrap their feet in two inches of sheep fur in ninety degree weather? Other than the obvious fact that Uggs are warm and the fact that warmth isn’t needed in the summer because there is plenty of it, Uggs don’t even look good with shorts. Daisy Dukes and Uggs are not friends. They certainly do not compliment each other and whatever clerk at Macy’s that told you they did, lied. So invest in a pair of cute sandals and stop looking like Britney Spears.

2. Pocket Exposure.

Look at the above image. I am going to make a statement that will probably be correct 9.8 times out of 10. If Britney Spears does it, it is probably not socially appealing. Example 1: shorts so short the pockets hang out. I don’t really know if this was ever a fad, but I do know that it doesn’t look good. To me, they look like those bags they attach you to at the hospital to pee in. Why would you want two drainage bags dangling on your thighs? I am a fan of short shorts. But I am not a fan of short shorts that look like they were obviously jeans in a former life. The sad thing is that those pockets actually distract from the fact that her shorts are slowly creeping up inside her. Soon they will disappear completely. Take a note from the Magician Britney Spears and stay far away from any shorts where pockets are an “accessory.”

3. Tank Top Double Up.

Once again, Britney Spears is a perfect example of my third summer fashion blunder, doubling up on tank tops. I hate to break it to all of the teenage girls, and hopefully not grown women, out there, and tell you that two tank tops aren’t better than one. Usually the saying goes that two is better than one. This is pretty much ALWAYS true. For example, two margaritas are better than one. But in this instance, two tank tops = disaster. One is bad enough. I don’t consider a strappy tank top to be proper summer attire unless you are just coming back from the beach or are washing your car. If you are out in public for more than thirty minutes, put on a real shirt. I do agree that some tank tops are stylish, but two Old Navy tanks stacked on top of one another ISN’T. Just because the colors are complimentary doesn’t means it compliments YOU.

-Zac

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s