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Catching “old”

I decided that for this post, I am going to steer away from the Facebook topic. Instead, I am going to talk about my biggest fear. Growing old.

Old people: wrinkly and usually disgruntled individuals who have hair in curious places and talk of a time before Jersey Shore and eHarmony.

What part of that above definition sounds appealing? The only part of growing old that sounds amazing? Losing my flippin’ mind. When I lose so much inhibition that I allow ANYONE to wipe my butt, that is the day that my life has REALLY begun. While I am constantly watching out for that day that the “old” creeps up on me, I do realize the perks of being elderly. For example, old people get to wear whatever the hell their little wrinkled hearts desire.

Look at the above woman. She is wearing a straw hat covered in a picket fence and two tiny ponies. If I wore this beautiful hat to school, teachers would have a fit. But who in their right mind would tell an old lady,in a lilac cardigan and matching undershirt, that she needed to take the miniature farm off of her head? Choice of wardrobe is not the only benefit of being a member of the senior citizen discount. In a hostage situation, the old people ALWAYS get released first. But even the thought of being let out of a bank robbery early isn’t enough to ease my fear of growing old and ugly. Face it, old people are mostly ugly. There are a few cute ones out of the litter but mainly they look like those dogs that faces drag on the ground when they walk. I don’t want to look like a saggy pooch, I don’t want my neck to look like a turkeys, and I certainly don’t want to think I look good in khakis and boat shoes. Hence, my biggest fear.

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One response to “Catching “old”

  1. Very negative view of getting old although I agree with the wrinkly bit..unless you’re one of those people who magically don’t physically age.

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