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A midget sister wife with 36 children.

I would first like to wish all of you a happy 4th of July. I am sure you are outside eating a hotdog, lighting a sparkler, and wearing an Old Navy shirt stating your American pride. I, however, am sitting inside my air-conditioned home, drinking an iced coffee, and writing my blog. I love how America allows me to buy my Starbucks and wear short shorts, but I also love my central air.

Anyway, for this post I am going to write about one of my favorite Americans, my Granny Peanut. This woman is one of my favorite Americans for many reasons, mainly for  entertainment purposes. I am an observer, I watch people. I notice odd things that would often go unnoticed for the average onlooker. My Granny Peanut is REALLY something to observe. For example, when we watch scary movies, during random moments I will look over and see that she has her shirt tucked around her little mouth while she gasps silently underneath it. That thin layer of cotton over her mouth is her shield against Silence of the Lambs.

Her little cotton obsession is only a small reason why I love my little peanut granny. The main reason is we share a love for the cable television network TLC. Although we both love this channel, we disagree on what shows on this channel are actually good television. Remember, she is Granny PEANUT. She didn’t get that nickname by being 6 foot. She is roughly the size of a Lord of the Rings hobbit. Her stature is often a key factor in deciding what she likes to watch on tv. Thus, every single tv show about midgets, she LOVES. You can’t pull that woman away from an episode of Little People Big World and you definitely don’t have a chance if she is watching the Little Couple. All of those little baby munchkins are her “friends” and she cries when they cry and laughs when they laugh. Half the time she even cries for no reason. If one of those hobbits falls off a grocery store shelf while climbing it to reach a box of Oreo’s, my grandma is reduced to 15 minutes of tears.

 

My Granny Peanut strongly believes that she knows these TLC characters. My grandma is a member of the Duggar family, the shortest child on Kate+8 (don’t even get her started on the Jon and Kate divorce), and the fifth wife on the polygamist show (Sister Wives). She’s got a busy schedule keeping up with all these dramas and STILL not missing Biggest Loser.

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