As I woke up this morning, I admit, I started this in the negative. Everyone knows that the first half-day of school is the biggest waste of time, besides the friday before prom. What is the point of attending school for a maximum of four hours? I was waking up before noon so I could be lectured for hours about things I had been taught since I was potty trained. To me, this is a definition of wasting my time.
I got ready, refused to take anything to school other than chapstick and a sweet tea, and headed out the door. As I pulled into the parking lot, I looked around to find a sea of faces that looked tired, hungover, and ready to go home. It was clear that not a soul wanted to be in this hell-hole. I thought to myself, “How bad can this actually be?…It’s just school. I’m used to this by now.”
Sadly, I was mistaken.
As I walked through the front doors, I got in line to get my tattoo. My official number is now 2012418. This was definitely a new addition. It is practically impossible for me to forget my lunch code now.
I obviously knew this year would be different, changing principals is a big adjustment. At first I sympathized with the new guy. It’s a tough job to fill the shoes of a great principal. There are many different ways that this new principal could take his new role. Obviously he took the german way.
The odd thing about this Nazi invasion was the way our school was decorated. Instead of swastikas and arm bands, the teachers were wearing Hawaiian shirts and wacky sunglasses. Was this a trick that our new principal learned in the CIA?
“If you dress like you are a Hawaiian tourist, students never notice that are turning their high school into a prison.”
Well guess what dude, we noticed. Our day started with tattoos, then moved to an assembly that lasted approximately 17 hours. This assembly covered everything that students can absolutely NOT do. This list was extensive. I took the liberty of writing down a few:
- NO purses (for the safety of students)
To justify this rule, I would like one case where a purse has killed a person. Because I have numerous cases where a girl has almost killed a person because she doesn’t have a tampon handy. For the safety of the faculty and student body, girls need purses.
- The words “I was just kidding” will not be accepted as an excuse for anything this year….or Mr. Young will, “come at you like a freight train.”
I don’t have any arguments for this rule because whatever that train thing is, it sounds funny…and I want to see it.
- Every door in the school, other than the front entrance, will be locked.
This sounds like they are trying to keep us in…not others out.Hence, PRISON.
- Study hall will no longer take place in the media center it will take place in dungeons.
All I have to say about this is as follows: I have been denied the privilege to get on the computer ever since my middle school years with Mrs. Portwood, To this day, if I print something that is bigger than two inches, I get nervous that Portwood is going to catch me wasting ink….even in my own house. For once in my life can I please use a computer without having to beg for a pass to do so?
- Only 3 minutes are allotted for each passing period.
Between girls not having tampons and guys not being able to stop and pee, student’s are going to be on edge. This three-minutes is going to look like the jungle scenes from Mean Girls.
While I respect and have nothing against our new principal, our school is now a prison. I am inmate 2012418 and the luau didn’t stop me from realizing it.