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The infamous Annoying School Friend

Unfortunately I have been too busy (stuck in hell) to update my blog. But here I am, ready to talk about all the things that ALL of us hate about school. I am very aware that many teachers read my blog and I commend you 1) for having a life and 2) having a sense of humor. When I call SHS hell, I don’t really mean that it is….well maybe I do mean that it’s hell, but it is all in good fun. This blog is a sort of release. Instead of telling all of the annoying people in my school to, “screw off”, I type it. I can only hope that half of these people know that I am talking about them (possibly you) and that they/you change their/your annoying-ass tendencies…../personalities. All of you annoying-ass people have led me right into my next blog post topic.

 

“Annoying School Friends”

If you attend a middle school/high school and maybe even college, you indefinetly have these type of friends. The annoying school friends are the ones who didn’t quite make the cut. An A.S.F comes in all shapes and sizes (but mainly ages) and is always excited to see you. It is almost guaranteed that the moment you and this dreadful person make eye contact, that they will attach to you like a leach. Suddenly they have a million questions about your summer, class schedule, and other useless knowledge that you don’t want them to know. But before any of these never-ending interviews begin, you will hear one familiar phrase. This sentence is the go-to sentence for every A.S.F, it is practically all they know.

“Oh my God! I haven’t seen you like ALL summer!!”

…….

This is possibly the most annoying sentence in the english language. Thus fitting the A.S.F to a tee. While the phrase is unusually simple, it says everything that needs to be said. In a perfect world, the conversation would end with the period of that spoken sentence. Sadly, the annoying school friend doesn’t realize that they are indeed an A.S.F and need to back the fudge off. My theory is that if they TRUELY cared, they would have contacted me over the summer. At least then I would just have to make up a fake excuse to avoid them.

The reason why you don’t see this person all summer is clearly because you didn’t want to speak, see, or interact with them. That is the most infuriating thing about the A.S.F stating it. “Duh I didn’t see you! Look at yourself, you are a mess.” This should be the sentence that ends all of this nonsense with the annoying school friend. But sadly this sentence is hardly ever uttered. Because you have to see this person on a daily basis, you have to grin and bare the seven-hour questioning about everything from where you get your hair cut to what brand of tampons you use. The badgering seems to never end.

Finally, after you have answered every one of this stupid bitch’s questions, you stumble away from your locker searching for an iced coffee or a cigarette. You have survived. Usually, after only one face to face meeting, the A.S.F completely forgets that she ever knew you. Until next school year starts of course.

All of this banter about the A.S.F may seem childish and cruel, but remember, you didn’t make their cut either. While you may have an abundance of annoying school friends, you may BE an annoying school friend. We are all guilty of having those “friends” that we only talk to at school. The one thing to remember is to always play it cool. Never act like you are excited to see this person, they are an extra. I don’t cream my tampon when asked if I want extra mayo on my Subway sandwich, it isn’t that big of a deal. Who cares. Never show emotion and never…EVER utter the infamous sentence.

“Oh my God! I haven’t seen you like ALL summer!!”

….dumb bitch.

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