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The gospel according to Zac

Is there ACTUALLY a freedom of speech?

Recently, I have come into a little bit of trouble regarding this blog. The last thing I want to do is to sit here and bitch about how life isn’t fair. But, with that being said, I wanted to take a little time to try to figure out what actual rights I have.

What if I say that my chicken nugs at McDonalds taste like queef? Does my right to freedom of speech give me the liberties to say that I personally believe that someone in the back room sat on my nugs and tried to pull one over on me? Or does that somehow infringe on the rights of the queefer?

Freedom of speech is a very tricky thing. I believe that all the things said on my blog are said in good fun and are meant to make people laugh. If somehow Bowties&Booze has made you mentally unstable, I apologize. But, unless you are “the black girls” from my old elementary school, or were once a little fat kid that was made to go chase a dodgeball, I believe that you can probably rest at ease. But, in the same thought, if you ARE that little chunker that I (as a child) forced to retrieve my lost four-square ball, the best way to handle my blog would be to laugh.

My belief in my right to share my opinion is strong. A lot of people visit this site everyday to read my thoughts on every topic, and I hope they do it because I make you want to spoil your briefs–not because you are hoping to someone incriminate me.

Everything that I type is typed in jest, meaning it is meant to make you look at something with humor. For those of you who aren’t funny, and don’t know a good joke when you hear one, get the hell off of this website. If you don’t urinate at the thought of my lil’ granny peanut trying to  slide down a metal bar stool while intoxicated, we probably don’t think the same things are funny.

Basically what I am trying to say, is that if you don’t find me funny, why are you still reading? Also, on a side note, if you are bitter about anything that I have said or will say in the future, keep it to yourself. Frankly, I give ZERO thought into what others think this blog should be about. If you are a lame professional (of any type) and you are reading this, you probably should get back to whatever tedious job currently ties you down. But, if you are a fun professional and see humor in almost every situation, keep reading and enjoy all jokes about queefs and my ghetto childhood.

I write for myself and to entertain whatever dumbass wants to listen to me ramble. I don’t write to offend and I certainly don’t write to “stir up gossip.”

Amen, hallelujah, and praise whatever lord you please.


One response to “The gospel according to Zac

  1. Pingback: The gospel according to Zac « Bowties and Booze. | Gospel Feeds

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