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The skinny vs. the fatty

When thinking about “weight issues”, it is almost certain that one will think of someone who is fat or overweight. However, I am here to enlighten you about the problems that skinny bitches face daily. Fatties aren’t the only ones who get hounded about their weight. Everyday, skinnies around the world face hardships due to their small frame and double-digit scale number. While there may be a lot that differentiates the Celebrity Fat Club members and the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the problems that they face are more similar than you would think.

For example, elbows are a problem spot for both the heavy and the small framed. For the people who can’t eat a McChicken without earning themselves another chin, their elbows practically disappear with every bite. Suddenly, their elbows become sandwiched between two sides of fatty tissue that cause their actual bone to sink lower and lower beneath the massive wall of skin and fat. I am obviously not a trained physician. However, I have observed that when one eats more Hardee’s than Subway, their fat seems to form a crease and push the actual elbow into a sick form of submission. That poor, little elbow never had a chance; it was gang raped by two bulging fat-ass bullies.

Where fatties have a vagina-like orifice on their arm, the skinnies also have a little problem with their elbows. For the average skinny bitch, their elbows are sharp as knives. This becomes an issue in many circumstances. Hugging a skinny person turns into an attempt to dodge their shark teeth elbows. If one of them pokes you, expect blood. Forget water beds, a skinnies elbows will poke right through. When you are Edward Scissor-Elbows, your options of clothing are limited. God forbid that a sweater accentuate your excessively pokey elbows. The only thing those blades can be used for are opening cans and getting in street fights. Being skinny isn’t always pretty.

Another problem that both fat and skinny people face is people asking them about their weight. For fatties, these conversations are more subtle and kind-hearted. The comments are usually things like, “You are looking smaller…did you do something?”. Decoded, this usually means, “You still look fat…why aren’t you doing anything about it?”. Let’s face it, their isn’t a polite way to tell someone they are obese. You can’t sugar-coat the words, “Damn bitch, you look BIIGGG.”.

When a fat person is confronted about how someone doesn’t like their size, it is almost always in a polite manner. However, for skinny people, these confrontations are blunt and almost always centered around a meal. For example, when a skinny kid eats the average portion of food, they are told, “You eat so much and never gain any weight. Why are you so skinny?” 1) It’s none of your business. 2) If I knew the secret to my skinny-ness, I would not be telling your fat ass. If a skinny person isn’t feeling very hungry and eats only a small portion of food, they are told, “No wonder you are so skinny, you hardly eat anything. You need to get some meat on them bones.” Depending on one’s mood, the witty response to this would be, “Well it looks like you have plenty to spare.”

As you can see, the chubby and the fit both share the same problems. Both have elbow issues, both have assholes who want to “help them out” and give unneeded advice, and both just want to eat or not eat without someone commenting on it. Plus, everyone knows it’s the midgets who REALLY got the short end of the stick.

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